Margin Notes from October 🖊️ 💌

a recap of what overflowed from this month’s essays and into the margins

Hello, diva. Welcome to November, the last part of the year that invites rest, reflection, and intention. Fall has always been my favorite time of year, and October holds a special place in my heart. It always brought colder weather and pumpkin-flavored treats, ushering in the holiday season. It’s also the month I got married, when ACL and college football season are in Austin, and I have many Libra and Scorpio friends, so the month is historically bursting at the seams with events.

Between fall movie nights, album listening parties, anniversary celebrations, and visits to flea markets (anyone else start their holiday shopping two months in advance?), the days blur, the weeks fly by, and my routines are deprioritized. My goal to publish a newsletter every week got more precarious as the month progressed.

The shorter days and darker evenings really test my discipline.

My work is demanding more mental and emotional energy than usual, the lack of sunlight is lowering my motivation, and there’s so much to do in a day that I’d search for ten minutes to journal, which made sitting down to write a newsletter feel impossible.

Am I a less dedicated writer because I decided to spend Wednesday evenings decorating my house for Halloween instead of writing my first draft of a Substack article? Has my discipline suffered because I was too tired to journal on a Saturday morning, because I was up late on Friday celebrating my friend’s birthday? How can I fit working a 9-5, working out, reading for pleasure, journaling, hosting a smutty book club, reading a book for the aforementioned book club, sewing all my Christmas gifts, eating regularly, staying hydrated, writing a weekly article, responding to text messages, promoting my book, and getting at least eight hours of sleep all in one single day? Everyday. All month. Forever.

What happens when a full life gets in “the way” of the goals I set?

October has a friskiness to it, a bite like the first cool front that blows in overnight. Shaking the tree branches, howling out my bedroom window. I realize this is why I welcomed November with an exhale of relief. It’s similar to my relationship with discipline. I thought discipline was an iron fist, ferocious in its devotion, intense in its desire to achieve, achieve, achieve. But there’s a softness I never noticed existed.

It’s the deep, cleansing breath before the last rep of a workout. It’s the regulating sigh when I have to rethread my needle for what feels like the 20th time in one night. The satisfactory sniff after lighting a candle, because all my chores are done.

I know you know that feeling. Share this with someone who also loves a completed to-do list.

Discipline is much less about having an unshakable will to success and more about having the unflinching courage to try again. To keep going even when I’m tired, frustrated, not in the mood, discouraged, and busy. It’s the radical forgiveness I grant myself to try again. November will be about finding peace, pouring the little energy I have left in the year into the activities that bring me joy, and winding down into rest.

Writing Rituals I’m Vibing With

As the end of the end-of-the-year corporate craziness kicks into high gear, I’m finding that messy writing is pivotal to my creative process. I cannot skip this step. Even if it’s just a few sentences in my journal or a random phrase in the Notes app, I need the space to declutter my thoughts before diving into something coherent for others to read. I can’t go from writing a blog for work to writing A Diary of a Melancholy Marketer.

Sometimes, I feel like as I start developing a goal, I become so focused on achieving that thing that I neglect the process to get there. Similar to clearing my throat before speaking or stretching before a workout, the chicken scratch I write for my eyes only is critical. The bottled-up emotions and tangled thoughts manifest physically in my body, and I am amazed at how quickly a headache evaporates or tension in my neck disappears when I take less than 10 minutes to rage jot. Rant. Stream-of-consciousness yap to myself.

So many of our hobbies have to be aesthetic, shareable for the masses, aesthetic for the grid, that I forget how good it feels to do something for myself. Write like no one is reading. Create just because I can.

I’m also oscillating between Olivia Dean and Tchaikovsky while writing because they’re both so emotive that I scientifically become a more passionate writer when I listen to them. Truly, give it a try.

Library By Alyssa (because writers are readers too)

Below is everything I’ve read in October :

Katabasis, by R.F. Kuang: I knew going in that I was going to love this book, and I really did. The logic games, dark academia setting, philosophy, mythology, and dry humor were the perfect combination of vibes to usher in spooky season.
Mate, by Ali Hazelwood: I enjoyed reading the first book in this series, as it was my introduction to the Werewolf genre. If Bride were me dipping my toes into the omegaverse, this was jumping off the deep end. Disgusting in a very satisfying way. I read it in less than 24 hours, and I’m not sure I’m proud of that fact.
Make Believe, by Victoria Hutchens: This collection of poetry got me reflective and in my feels. Her prose feels like reading a text message from your best friend or something from your notes app. It made me hungry for poetry again, and for that I’m so grateful.
The Mortal Immortal, by Mary Shelly: A horrifying short story that reminds me of how delicious gothic fiction is. Even though it’s less than 30 pages, it is so thought-provoking and deeply vulnerable. The social fallacies women experience as they age, and the folly of immortality, are strong themes and are just as timely as the year it was written. I’m continuously in awe of how ahead of her time and introspective Mary Shelly was.
Books 1-3 of the Dream Harbor series, by Laurie Gilmore: I’m listening to these as I drive, exercise, and sew. They’re easy, fun, steamy, and so cozy. Exactly what I need to end this chaotic year.

I’m currently reading:

The Strawberry Patch Pancake House, book four from the Dream Harbor series: It’s my first single-dad romance novel, and he’s a grumpy chef. Enough said.
Sophie’s World, by Jostein Gaarder: Because Katabasis reignited my love for philosophy, and I’m afraid that these cozy romance novels are softening my brain.

I’m looking to read more poetry in November, so drop any recs you have via a comment ❤

What’s New With Julia’s Shelf Discovery

This has been a very big month for my beloved children’s book. I had my first signing event, read aloud, tabling fair, and classroom visit (oh my)! I sold over 20 copies across these events, handed out stickers to first graders, and got to share my love for books (and my sister).

A few children already owned a copy and brought it with them to my first read-aloud. They sat criss-cross on the floor and followed along with their finger. Another child exclaimed in the hallway of their school that they met a real author to their friends. A little girl bought one of my stickers and said she was so happy that a character looked just like her.

I’m continuously amazed at the way my community has shown up for me—whether that’s from purchasing my book, introducing me to librarians and small business owners, welcoming me into their classrooms, or promoting me on social media. Their love and belief in the story I wrote has moved me to tears on several occasions. I have a lot more to say about the lessons I learned promoting my book this month, and that is coming in my next newsletter, don’t ya worry!

If you’re in the Central Texas area and know a teacher, store, or library that’d be interested in hearing a story of a little girl who falls in love with all different types of genres, send me a DM or an email. I’m energized and ready to promote Julia’s Shelf Discovery.

Well, diva, thank you for being here. Thank you for your patience and your attention. I’m so grateful that over 100 of you are reading this (I mean, seriously, that’s enough to fill up an event space). I get so in my head sometimes, I forget all of this rushing, planning, and prepping are dreams fulfilled. I’ve wanted a friend group like this since I was little. I’ve always envisioned being an author. My home and hobbies are made possible by a job I worked so hard to get. These are all actualized goals of little Alyssa. I hope November brings you rest and peace. Stay warm ❤

Authored By Alyssa