diary of a melancholy marketer #7
Nothing changes if nothing changes
Something about September really gets people going (myself included). Maybe it’s the crisp new bite in the wind, promising an anticipated transition. Or perhaps, it’s the looming knowledge that January is three months away and our New Year’s Resolutions aren’t resolved. Or possibly, it’s the permission to release habits and behaviors, like leaves falling from the trees.
Maybe it’s a combination of all of the above or something entirely different. Regardless, September is a time to “lock in,” according to the internet. My social feeds are flooded with monthly curriculum videos, journal ecosystems tours, and notion trackers for rebranding your whole life. Granted, they’re for a variety of different goals—fitness, creativity, nutrition, productivity, education, and skill-based. However, almost all promise that your goals are on the other side of a new habit. All you have to do is participate in “The Great Lock-In.”
The difference between hard and rigorous
Now, I believe there are several influences behind this phenomenon: the rise of anti-intellectualism in the United States, a desire to avoid the effects of AI brain rot, and the rejection of hustle culture. However, I think the main reason is quite simple and is a byproduct of the influences listed above.
The days are getting shorter, the nights are getting longer, and in the dark, we crave rigor. Perfect timing, considering yesterday was the fall equinox (where day and night are the same length and every day after until March 20, 2026, nights will grow).
Now, I want to norm on some language before we proceed, so bear with me.
Hard is an adjective meaning “difficult to bear or endure.”
Rigorous, also an adjective, comes from the root word “rigor,” which means “the quality of being unyielding or inflexible.”
“Hard” is fleeting, attached to single instances. “That was so hard, but I was really brave about it, and now it’s done,” we might exclaim to a friend after finally picking up our dry cleaning after weeks of avoiding the task.
Rigor requires stamina and patience. “My geology class was rigorous, but I was able to get through the semester with an A.”
The opposite of instant gratification is delayed satisfaction
With everything we could ever want at our fingertips, nothing is rigorous anymore. Want to start exercising more consistently? Well, you can have new workout clothes, a yoga mat, and a gym bag that an internet stranger swears is the best gym bag ever, overnighted to your home. Forgot to put your friend’s birthday dinner in your calendar, and now you don’t have a gift? No worries, you can watch a gift guide video and have that perfectly generic (and somehow still pricey) scheduled to be picked up, along with a bag and tissue paper. Want to start posting more consistently? Great, throw a haphazard list of ideas into ChatGPT and boom! You have enough content for a month. Watching your favorite influencer unbox their “dream purchase,” and now you need it? Lucky for you, shop their affiliate link, choose Afterpay/Klarna, and you can have it too!
The opposite of instant gratification is delayed satisfaction. And this only comes from waiting and working. Recently, two of my friends and I decided to make quilted witch hats to celebrate the arrival of fall—my first sewing endeavor since a middle school home ec class. The finished product took multiple steps, including:
Various trips to the thrift store for quilts and fabric
Several hours of cutting, measuring, prepping, and digesting the sewing pattern
Two nights of sewing different pieces, then putting them all together
Countless shifts at the sewing machine since we were all sharing one
The whole process took about a month to come to fruition. Learning to sew was not hard, but it was rigorous. It took me slowing down—letting my friend be the best sewing teacher and take the lead, accidentally cutting my pattern too big, needing to pivot, not sewing in a straight line, and learning to live with the imperfections.
Resist consumerism’s siren song
Now, diva, I’m not saying you need to learn how to sew or cancel your Prime subscription. I am saying find time to make time. Wear what you already own. Plan your friend’s birthday gift 30 days in advance (it does fall on the same day every year after all), so you have time to order/make something really personal. Don’t use AI for any of your creative endeavors—especially your first drafts. Save up your hard-earned money for your own “dream purchase.” Bonus points if you can align the purchase with meeting a rigorous milestone and aren’t spending what you don’t have (did you know that the average US consumer has four credit cards and over $21k in credit debt)?
Consumerism makes life hard because it sells the idea that you alone are not enough to have a fulfilling life. There’s a seductive promise that there’s an item out there you can buy, which will finally lead to your life coming together.
Resist the siren song.
Find time to make time
If, like me, you find yourself spending all day thinking about how you have no time to walk your dog or make a home-cooked meal, I invite you to look inward.
Mindless online shopping, ordering Uber Eats, procrastination, doomscrolling. Hangovers. These are all tasks that steal your time and your money. Stopping a behavior is hard; replacing that behavior is rigorous. Hence, monthly curricula and “The Great Lock-In.”
I invite you to set a goal over the next three months that doesn’t require a purchase or using AI. Maybe it’s re-learning an instrument you played in high school. Or finishing that hyperfixation project you started at the beginning of the summer. Or maybe it’s posting your seventh weekly Substack article (!!!). I don’t know, diva; get creative!
Think about it
Delayed satisfaction comes from waiting and working, which doesn’t sound very fun! But it can be. Here’s an article that showcases some screen-free ways to rewire your brain and welcome that belated dopamine hit:
The following prompts give you, diva, the opportunity to muse throughout the day:
What’s one scroll-free activity you can introduce into your life?
Pick one of your unfulfilled New Year’s resolutions and write a game plan for how to achieve it.
Is there a birthday or anniversary gift you need to buy/make? Schedule a day this week to get it done. Seriously, chicken scratch a reminder somewhere you can’t ignore.
If you’re feeling brave, share your musing via a comment ❤
This space is built in the margins of my full-time job. “Buy Me a Coffee” is my virtual tip jar, helping sustain the writing (and the writer) behind it.
Authored By Alyssa 
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